Wednesday 5 February 2014

Don't date a girl who plays Underwater Rugby


She's the one with the messy, unkempt hair tortured by chlorine. Her skin is full of bruises. Some even in the shape of a hand print. There are many grazes and scars on her body, from the tiles on the bottom of the pool. But for every flaw on her skin, she has an interesting story to tell.
Don't date a girl who plays Underwater Rugby. She is hard to please. The usual 'I like swimming laps in a pool' and 'waterpolo' will suck the life out of her. Her soul craves for deep experiences and new dimensions. She will be unimpressed with your new scar and your expensive camera - unless she can drop it in the water and shoot with it. 
Don't date a girl who plays Underwater Rugby because she will bug you to book a trip every time there's an overseas competition or training camp. She won't pack her bikinis. And she will never pay for accommodation because she knows that wherever there is UWR, there will be a couch or a spare bed with her name on it. 
Chances are, she can't hold a steady lane. She doesn't want to just keep swimming up and down following a line. She wants to go in any direction she pleases. She is a freelancer. She will tackle you from above, from below, from the left to the right, in front and behind. That requires creativity and imagination. Don't waste her time complaining about your boring sport.
Don't date a girl who plays Underwater Rugby. She might have wasted her college degree and switched universities entirely. She is overeducated and probably doing a PhD. She's not sure when the next research grant or study benefit is coming. But she doesn't work like a robot all day, she goes out and takes what life has to offer - and she'll challenge you to grow a pair and get in the water with her.
Don't date a girl who plays Underwater Rugby for she has chosen a life of uncertainty. She doesn't know if she can do November in the Canaries because she might be playing in the Champions Cup. She goes with the season and follows her team. She dolphin kicks to the beat of her own drum. She doesn't wear a watch. Her nails are short and her arms strong. When the goal is within reach, life stops and she will be oblivious to everything else for a moment. And she has learned that the most important thing in life isn't breathing.
Don't date a girl who plays Underwater Rugby as she tends to speak her mind. She will never try to impress your parents or friends. She knows respect, but isn't afraid to hold a debate about global issues or social responsibility. And she can probably kick your ass. 
She will never need you. She knows how to wrestle a small crocodile and hold her own against a 250 pound Norwegian man without your help. She eats well and doesn't need you to convince her about that second serving of icecream. She is too independent and won't care whether you exercise with her or not. She will forget to check in with you when she arrives at a tournament. She's busy living in the present. She will meet many interesting, like-minded players from around the world who share her passion and dreams. She will be bored with you.
So never date a girl who plays Underwater Rugby unless you can keep up with her. And if you unintentionally fall in love with one, don't you dare try to stop her from playing. Or she'll let you go.